While not wanting to be alone may not be the best reason to be in a relationship, it is probably more common and normal a reason than you think. Since you seem to care about your friend ("don't want to hurt him"), I imagine there are many other reasons that you are together. I suggest that you talk about this open-heartedly with each other. The idea of being afraid of being alone sounds like an honest starting place. Don't try to "figure out" whether you should be with him. Just talk. The communication is likely to shine light on deepening connection for BOTH OF YOU.
In the meantime, your idea that you don't deserve him is rooted in a "core lie" that you are telling yourself. You can read about "core lies" and much more in my book, Living Yes, a Handbook for Being Human. Check out www.LivingYes.org.
Be easy on yourself. You are deserving!
Perhaps more dreaming means that you are making use of your mind to solve problems. I find that change states, while sometimes difficult, are very exciting. They give you opportunity to grow more rapidly. So I say: "congratulations!" ~Mark (www.MarkMorrisLCSW.com and www.LivingYes.org)
Many people generate intense anxiety with obsessive thinking. While the nature of your obsession about the afterlife and eternity appear very powerful and unique to you, the pattern of obsessing about one thing/area is common.
I suggest that you consider counseling to help you with your anxiety. If you are so inclined, there are also medications which may bring relief. Obviously, I can't diagnose you from one paragraph, so it would be wise to visit an experienced mental health professional (either a counselor or an MD in your area) to help you with disengaging from your self-destructive thoughts.
CBT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, is a very effective counseling approach for obsessive thinking. If you'd like a see a top notch CBT therapist, visit www.AcademyofCT.org. And of course I suggest you pick up my book, LIVING YES, A HANDBOOK FOR BEING HUMAN, which includes CBT concepts and many more tools which will help with obsession and anxiety.
As for believing yourself "insane" (or "crazy") this is not a mental health term but a legal one (or a slang). So as long as you don't commit a crime, no professional can legitimately call you insane or crazy!
Take it slow! ~Mark (www.MarkMorrisLCSW.com and www.LivingYes.org)
This seems like two questions. The first is what may have happened to prompt him to back off. The second is what it means to you to have a boyfriend who takes anti-depression medication who says he has "a lot on his mind." Both give you opportunity to look at yourself.
Having expectations can be a huge trap. I write about this extensively in the first chapter of my book Living Yes (www.LivingYes.org). Is there any way that you can enjoy your time together without expecting anything down the road? Are there wonderful lessons for you to take from the relationship - even if it only lasts three weeks? Can you create a mindset of gratitude for what is and let the future expectations (and future demands) go? Are there new ways to communicate that might bring you together? What are the lessons for you about allowing the relationship to develop its own course on its own time? Again, let go of all expectations, and see what happens. That's what "Living Yes" requires.
I am sure this will work out well for you - either with him or without him. ~Mark (www.MarkMorrisLCSW.com and www.LivingYes.org)
Are you a teen? This is a really hard problem for more teens (and adults) than let on. When I was about 15, I remember asking my parent's friend, Herman, whether life gets any easier when you get older. He said the problems are actually harder, but you gain the ability to deal with them better. I've been an adult a long time now, and that is so true.
If you need someone to talk to, consider a teacher or a school guidance counselor or someone you respect, maybe in church. If they're good and they don't know how to help you, they may know how to get you to someone who can.
Also, the idea of not being "good enough" is a common psychological event. In CBT it's called a "core belief," but I call it a "core lie" in my book, Living Yes, a Handbook for Being Human. If you are serious about changing yourself, read about it at www.LivingYes.org and pick up a copy there or on Amazon.
I hope this was helpful. The future is filled with possibility if we don't prejudge it! ~Mark (www.MarkMorrisLCSW.com and www.LivingYes.org)
A PTSD diagnosis requires an event which occurred at least 6 months prior to the symptoms. Depression is a common symptom of PTSD, but depression can come from many other sources as well.
In the end, diagnoses are systems of behavioral labels. If you believe that one label (PTSD) is worse than another (Depression), you are creating a false hierarchy.
Consider consulting a CBT therapist, such as the fine clinicians listed in AcademyofCT.org.
You may also want to look at my book, Living Yes, for many ideas about challenging your thinking and improving you mood. www.LivingYes.org.
I hope you feel better soon. ~Mark (www.MarkMorrisLCSW.com and www.LivingYes.org)
You have an opportunity, but you haven't described a problem. (Are you creating one?) Many families have various members who have different spiritual beliefs and religious practices. Accepting the idea that those with whom we are close may be different from us is the only way to create a world of peace. This may be a wonderful opportunity to practice tolerance and love. If mutual decisions need to be made in religious contexts, you may also get to practice boundary setting, assertiveness (without aggression), communication skills, and loving kindness. This is a great problem to work through! It is indeed a very spiritual question. Blessings to you all, ~Mark (www.MarkMorrisLCSW.com and www.LivingYes.org)
Ask the therapist first. They will either tell you how to continue with them in the new job or give you a referral. They also will help your child with the transition.
If that fails, ask the agency where your child sees the therapist about next steps. There's an agency director or equivalent who will probably be happy to help you.
If that fails, and I hope it doesn't, consider finding a therapist on your own.
If the therapist is not helping or is behaving unethically, contact the state agency which issues the therapist's license for help and to let them know about your experience. That will protect the next parent.
Good luck. ~Mark (www.MarkMorrisLCSW.com and www.LivingYes.org)