Why does the voice in my head never stop?

First let's make sure that the voice is not one you hear outside your head and that it is not giving you commands. If either are the case, please visit a psychiatrist for an accurate assessment.I believe you asking for some support in order to quiet your reactive mind (also called self-talk... (more)
First let's make sure that the voice is not one you hear outside your head and that it is not giving you commands.  If either are the case, please visit a psychiatrist for an accurate assessment.

I believe you asking for some support in order to quiet your reactive mind (also called self-talk, automatic thoughts, mind talk, etc.)  When anxious, these thoughts tend to start racing.  The battle inside heats up even more when you start judging the thoughts themselves.  It sounds like the idea of the racing thoughts is giving you extra stress, and you have created a feedback loop.  

In CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), there are some excellent BEHAVIORAL interventions to break free.  Start by doing behaviors that are distracting, fun, and healthy, such as calling a friend, going to a movie, or getting some exercise.  You may also do behaviors that slow your heart rate like deep breathing and yoga.  It's amazing how well slowing the body can slow the mind.  There are many other behavioral techniques for calming the mind.  Pick up a mindfulness meditation book for more ideas.

Then there is the COGNITIVE aspect of your question.  This is the idea of recognizing how the thoughts are distorted and to challenge them rationally.  For example, if you do some of the behaviors just mentioned and you get some benefit, your stated idea that "it never stops" may not be accurate.  And your comments that the thoughts are "weird" or "crazy" are arbitrary judgments that you are making against yourself.  These are examples of cognitive distortions.  By challenging them, you may slow down the chatter inside your head.

Of course, my book LIVING YES, A HANDBOOK FOR BEING HUMAN, is filled with ideas for both behavioral and cognitive improvement.  I evan have a chart (p. 57) which shows the different characteristics of the "worldly voice" and the "sacred voice" inside.  Learn more about Living Yes at www.LivingYes.org.  You may also want to find a qualified CBT therapist in your town by searching the top clinicians who are listed on the www.AcademyofCT.org website.

I hope you find peace soon.  Keep breathing calmly and get some rest.  ~Mark




The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health... (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide.   If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Self-esteemRelationships

How can I be sure that I'm not choosing my relationship out of fear of being alone?

While not wanting to be alone may not be the best reason to be in a relationship, it is probably more common and normal a reason than you think. Since you seem to care about your friend ("don't want to hurt him"), I imagine there are many other reasons that you are together. I suggest that you... (more)

While not wanting to be alone may not be the best reason to be in a relationship, it is probably more common and normal a reason than you think.  Since you seem to care about your friend ("don't want to hurt him"), I imagine there are many other reasons that you are together.  I suggest that you talk about this open-heartedly with each other.  The idea of being afraid of being alone sounds like an honest starting place.  Don't try to "figure out" whether you should be with him.  Just talk.  The communication is likely to shine light on deepening connection for BOTH OF YOU.

In the meantime, your idea that you don't deserve him is rooted in a "core lie" that you are telling yourself.  You can read about "core lies" and much more in my book, Living Yes, a Handbook for Being Human.  Check out www.LivingYes.org.

Be easy on yourself.  You are deserving!

~Mark

The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health... (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide.   If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Sleep Improvement

Why am I dreaming so much?

Perhaps more dreaming means that you are making use of your mind to solve problems.  I find that change states, while sometimes difficult, are very exciting.  They give you opportunity to grow more rapidly.  So I say: "congratulations!"  ~Mark (www.MarkMorrisLCSW.com and www.LivingYes.org)

The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health... (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide.   If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
AnxietySpirituality

Thoughts of afterlife causes anxiety

Many people generate intense anxiety with obsessive thinking. While the nature of your obsession about the afterlife and eternity appear very powerful and unique to you, the pattern of obsessing about one thing/area is common. I suggest that you consider counseling to help you with your anxiety... (more)

Many people generate intense anxiety with obsessive thinking.  While the nature of your obsession about the afterlife and eternity appear very powerful and unique to you, the pattern of obsessing about one thing/area is common.  

I suggest that you consider counseling to help you with your anxiety.  If you are so inclined, there are also medications which may bring relief.  Obviously, I can't diagnose you from one paragraph, so it would be wise to visit an experienced mental health professional (either a counselor or an MD in your area) to help you with disengaging from your self-destructive thoughts.  

CBT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, is a very effective counseling approach for obsessive thinking.  If you'd like a see a top notch CBT therapist, visit www.AcademyofCT.org.  And of course I suggest you pick up my book, LIVING YES, A HANDBOOK FOR BEING HUMAN, which includes CBT concepts and many more tools which will help with obsession and anxiety.

As for believing yourself "insane" (or "crazy") this is not a mental health term but a legal one (or a slang).  So as long as you don't commit a crime, no professional can legitimately call you insane or crazy!

Take it slow!  ~Mark (www.MarkMorrisLCSW.com and www.LivingYes.org)


The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health... (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide.   If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Anxiety

Am I somehow stressing myself out?

Interesting: How much of your issue is your own self-judging and how much of your perception is real?There are many ways to stop judging and self-judging using Cognitive Theory (CBT). You could find a (CBT) counselor/ therapist to help you reduce your judgments. In addition, I've written... (more)
Interesting:  How much of your issue is your own self-judging and how much of your perception is real?

There are many ways to stop judging and self-judging using Cognitive Theory (CBT).  You could find a (CBT) counselor/ therapist to help you reduce your judgments.  In addition, I've written extensively about this in my book, LIVING YES, A HANDBOOK FOR BEING HUMAN (www.LivingYes.org).  I recommend you visit the webpage and pick up a copy.

As to your own perception:  You seem okay being who you are, and your girlfriend agrees.  Instead, you appear to be upset by your own guess at what others may be thinking. That's a trap that stresses a lot of folks out.  Consider this:  Many happy people don't mind what others think of them.  And consider this:  Many heroic characters in literature and movies are unlikeable.  ("Colombo" is annoying and bothersome, but we love him.  So is Johnny's Depp's Jack Sparrow and many of the roles played by George Clooney, Sandra Bullock, and Jack Nicholson.)  Would it be okay with you to be an "antihero" in your own life?  If you don't want to be an antihero, you have the power to be the person you want.  

Your behaviors and thoughts are completely under your control.  What other people think of you is not under your control.  You are completely in the driver's seat here.  The choices are all yours.  Enjoy who you are, and use your will power to make yourself who you want to be!  ~Mark  (www.MarkMorrisLCSW.com and www.LivingYes.org)


The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health... (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide.   If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Relationships

My boyfriend says he needs time to think about us

This seems like two questions. The first is what may have happened to prompt him to back off. The second is what it means to you to have a boyfriend who takes anti-depression medication who says he has "a lot on his mind." Both give you opportunity to look at yourself. Having expectations can be... (more)

This seems like two questions.  The first is what may have happened to prompt him to back off.  The second is what it means to you to have a boyfriend who takes anti-depression medication who says he has "a lot on his mind."  Both give you opportunity to look at yourself.  

Having expectations can be a huge trap.  I write about this extensively in the first chapter of my book Living Yes (www.LivingYes.org).  Is there any way that you can enjoy your time together without expecting anything down the road?  Are there wonderful lessons for you to take from the relationship - even if it only lasts three weeks?  Can you create a mindset of gratitude for what is and let the future expectations (and future demands) go?  Are there new ways to communicate that might bring you together?  What are the lessons for you about allowing the relationship to develop its own course on its own time?  Again, let go of all expectations, and see what happens. That's what "Living Yes" requires.

I am sure this will work out well for you - either with him or without him.  ~Mark  (www.MarkMorrisLCSW.com and www.LivingYes.org)


The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health... (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide.   If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
DepressionSelf-esteem

I feel really down all the time

Are you a teen? This is a really hard problem for more teens (and adults) than let on. When I was about 15, I remember asking my parent's friend, Herman, whether life gets any easier when you get older. He said the problems are actually harder, but you gain the ability to deal with them better... (more)

Are you a teen?  This is a really hard problem for more teens (and adults) than let on.  When I was about 15, I remember asking my parent's friend, Herman, whether life gets any easier when you get older.  He said the problems are actually harder, but you gain the ability to deal with them better.  I've been an adult a long time now, and that is so true. 

If you need someone to talk to, consider a teacher or a school guidance counselor or someone you respect, maybe in church.  If they're good and they don't know how to help you, they may know how to get you to someone who can.  

Also, the idea of not being "good enough" is a common psychological event.  In CBT it's called a "core belief," but I call it a "core lie" in my book, Living Yes, a Handbook for Being Human.  If you are serious about changing yourself, read about it  at www.LivingYes.org and pick up a copy there or on Amazon.  

I hope this was helpful.  The future is filled with possibility if we don't prejudge it!  ~Mark (www.MarkMorrisLCSW.com and www.LivingYes.org)

The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health... (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide.   If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
TraumaDepression

Is it possible to get PTSD from being very depressed?

A PTSD diagnosis requires an event which occurred at least 6 months prior to the symptoms. Depression is a common symptom of PTSD, but depression can come from many other sources as well. In the end, diagnoses are systems of behavioral labels. If you believe that one label (PTSD) is worse than... (more)

A PTSD diagnosis requires an event which occurred at least 6 months prior to the symptoms.   Depression is a common symptom of PTSD, but depression can come from many other sources as well.  

In the end, diagnoses are systems of behavioral labels.  If you believe that one label (PTSD) is worse than another (Depression), you are creating a false hierarchy.   

Consider consulting a CBT therapist, such as the fine clinicians listed in AcademyofCT.org.  

You may also want to look at my book, Living Yes, for many ideas about challenging your thinking and improving you mood. www.LivingYes.org. 

I hope you feel better soon.  ~Mark  (www.MarkMorrisLCSW.com and www.LivingYes.org)

The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health... (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide.   If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
SpiritualityFamily Conflict

My son and family has different views about religion. How do I resolve these differences?

You have an opportunity, but you haven't described a problem. (Are you creating one?) Many families have various members who have different spiritual beliefs and religious practices. Accepting the idea that those with whom we are close may be different from us is the only way to create a world of... (more)

You have an opportunity, but you haven't described a problem.  (Are you creating one?)  Many families have various members who have different spiritual beliefs and religious practices.  Accepting the idea that those with whom we are close may be different from us is the only way to create a world of peace.   This may be a wonderful opportunity to practice tolerance and love.  If mutual decisions need to be made in religious contexts, you may also get to practice boundary setting, assertiveness (without aggression), communication skills, and loving kindness.  This is a great problem to work through!  It is indeed a very spiritual question.  Blessings to you all, ~Mark (www.MarkMorrisLCSW.com and www.LivingYes.org)

The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health... (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide.   If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Professional Ethics

What is the proper procedure if your child's therapist is leaving the practice to work elsewhere?

Ask the therapist first. They will either tell you how to continue with them in the new job or give you a referral. They also will help your child with the transition. If that fails, ask the agency where your child sees the therapist about next steps. There's an agency director or equivalent who... (more)

Ask the therapist first.  They will either tell you how to continue with them in the new job or give you a referral.  They also will help your child with the transition.  

If that fails, ask the agency where your child sees the therapist about next steps.  There's an agency director or equivalent who will probably be happy to help you. 

If that fails, and I hope it doesn't, consider finding a therapist on your own.  

If the therapist is not helping or is behaving unethically, contact the state agency which issues the therapist's license for help and to let them know about your experience.  That will protect the next parent.  

Good luck.  ~Mark (www.MarkMorrisLCSW.com and www.LivingYes.org)

The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health... (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide.   If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.