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Relationships

When two people go out together because they are or want to be in a romantic relationship, this is often called dating. For many, dating is about finding someone you can be happy with. Keeping them... more
When two people go out together because they are or want to be in a romantic relationship, this is often called dating. For many, dating is about finding someone you can be happy with. Keeping them and yourself happy is key to a successful relationship.
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Questions and Answers

Briana Thomas
Briana Thomas
Family and Other Relationships

One question I have, is how would this impact your relationship now if you were to know the answer? It sounds as though you may be experiencing issues with trust in your relationship. I believe the bigger issue here is not whether or he has had sex with someone else a few years ago, but more that... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide.   If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPC
Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor

Only going off of the information in your question, it seems like you maybe have some performance anxiety and fear disappointing your fiance. Fear can be tricky in the sense that it quite often masquerades as something that seems under our control. For example, your fear of touching a girl may... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPC
Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor

That's so tough that you are feeling unheard and unsupported in your marriage. Depression is already a grueling experience and doing it alone can feel miserable.It's hard to know what will get through to him because I don't know a lot about your dynamic. Has there been a time in the past he has... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

Oh dear.From what you write, your husband doesn't have any interest to know about you and your sad feelings.Stay clear in understanding that you already did your part by asking him to listen and care about the way you feel.In this example, he told you he doesn't care.Its up to him to open his mind... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

Congrats on the new gf!If you need a period of social withdrawal, then this is not necessarily a quality to fight with yourself against.If your girlfriend isn't empathetic and willing to tolerate a basic part of your personality, then set a standard for yourself of being respected.As long as you're... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

Good for you to realize you have just as much right to talk and be heard as he does.And, that your words deserve as much respect as his do.At a time which is relatively calm, introduce the topic of your hurt feelings from his difficulty listening to you speak.If it is so, tell him you value his... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

Well, there certainly is distance he creates between the two of you.Whether or not the reason is from his cheating on you is impossible to tell based only on the information here provided.You could open a general discussion about the lack of closeness you feel. Maybe he'll be more responsive to... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

Are there ways your partner acknowledges the difficulty to stabilize the questions you ask about your self-worth?Your questions are typical for anyone who feels insecure and unsure. The lack of confidence you feel exists in many other human beings too.Your partner's wish for you to feel better... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Lynda Martens
Lynda Martens
Marriage & Family Therapist, MSc, RP, RMFT

Hi Smyrna,Your husband is avoiding dealing with this problem. I understand how lonely you must feel, not only sexually, but emotionally too.From what you describe, it seems that he wants to be there for you, but he clearly has barriers to engaging fully around this issue. My hunch is that he doesn't... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Nat Roman
Nat Roman
Marriage & Family Therapist, MSc RP

That sounds really heartbreaking. It is tough falling in love and not being able to dive fully because of complications on the other side. It sounds to me that you are doing exactly what you need to be doing by taking "care of myself" while the rest sorts itself out. While I admire your desire and... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide.   If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.