Marriage

It can be maddening when it seems like our partners or spouses are unwilling to hear us—especially when we have been trying for so long to be heard. Being cut off, shut down, or turned away from is very hurtful, particularly when it is a loved one who is doing the turning away.I’m sure you have... more

The short answer is: you may never know. The only person that really knows is him. Here are some things to consider. If you're asking this question, it may be an indicator of the health of the relationship itself. It wouldn't be a waste of your time to try some relationship counseling. I don't... more

That is great that he shared this information with you, that you were tested (and hopefully everything was okay), and that he continues to answer your questions about the event. It sounds like you are still having some trouble with what happened, and that is okay, and normal/natural. The question... more

Simply, Yes!Just because you argue, does not mean your marriage is not worth it. Couples disagree. They are different people from different worlds with different likes and dislikes. Trying to mesh these different worlds is tough, but does not mean you don’t need to not be married.There are reasons... more

I don't know that I should tell you to get a divorce. Some would, but I think there is something much deeper going on for you. I would be more concerned about figuring out the deeper reason you are having an affair. Do you have shame and guilt? Do you not like that you are doing this to your husband... more

I am sorry that you are struggling with this! I would love to help. I have a few questions first and I know you can't answer back unless you contact me. Do you use birth control? Is there pain during sex? Have you had sexual experiences before your husband? Have you ever experienced sexual abuse or... more

Strengthen your own belief in your right to a decent life and respect of who you are.From the brief description you write, your husband has very limited capacity to recognize how others feel and even less capacity to empathize with the person.The best you can do is convince yourself of your own... more

It is hard to hold onto a partner that isn't available emotionally or is lashing out when you face any kind of coflict between you.The conditions needed for healthy intimacy can not grow when there is an absence of common ground or lack of a sense of "safe space" between you.Learning to nurture... more

I never heard of a marriage mediator before.Since you already went to counseling and the therapist observed your husband's tendency to see black and white in life, and because counseling functions on a deeper level than a mediator generally does, a marriage mediator sounds like a step backwards.Why... more

Before I answer your question I want to cover some basics given that attempted suicide is very serious. I don't mean to scare you but I do want to be realistic with you. If a person attempts suicide once it is more likely they will try again. Men also succeed more often than women because they... more