Marriage

A resource I think is helpful to learn more about "what makes a good marriage" and steps toward doing so is Dr. John Gottman's book: "Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work." Dr. Gottman is a leader in this field and has done extensive studies with couples to determine what behaviors are key in... more

I appreciate your question.The answer of what makes a "good marriage" are as varied as there are marriages.Basically, similarity, like mindedness in beliefs and values, makes a good marriage. The best chance of getting along with someone on a longterm basis is when two people see life and the world... more

Thanks for reaching out. This is a great question. Communication is definitely a 2-way street. One person cannot participate in a discussion. It takes a talker and a listener. Furthermore, communication will breakdown if each party is only focusing on his or her agenda and is not open to what the... more

It's hard when you feel as if you're the only one that's taking the time to listen to your spouse. But, I would look at this as an opportunity to see if you can become aware of what exactly is happening between you, when you try and talk with your husband. Sometimes, it can be in the way dialogue is... more

Does your husband want to listen to you?Find this out by asking him the question!This way you know whether the goal you'd like to reach is even possible.Some partners prefer that one person is the rule maker or the only one who is entitled to talk about themselves.If your husband tells you he wants... more

Unfortunately you can't directly change another person's behavior. However, you can give him feedback on how his not listening impacts you. The best way to provide feedback is in 3 parts. The first part is telling him the emotion you are experiencing when he doesn't listen, such as hurt, sad, and... more

One key factor to consider is, are you able to repair after your arguments? It seems from your question that repair is lacking after any disagreement or argument. When couples are able to repair after an argument, they have an opportunity to learn more about each other's needs moving forward. I'm... more

When "threats" of leaving, such as what you described in your question ("kicking you out, wanting divorce") are continuous in your marriage, it can start to erode at the foundation of your relationship, impacting both partners. And, if you're concerned about the influence of another male in the... more

Feeling alone in your marriage is one of the most painful feelings. Wanting connection with your spouse yet feeling the all too familiar distance that's keeping you apart can be so hurtful. But, change is possible. You might be able to move closer toward each other on your own but since there has... more

It sounds like there are issues with communication between you and your husband. Your perceptions of interactions that you are having don't sound like they match up. It would probably be helpful for you both to work on communicating using "I" statements (I feel----when you---). This is a more... more