Intimacy

One question I have, is how would this impact your relationship now if you were to know the answer? It sounds as though you may be experiencing issues with trust in your relationship. I believe the bigger issue here is not whether or he has had sex with someone else a few years ago, but more that... more

Only going off of the information in your question, it seems like you maybe have some performance anxiety and fear disappointing your fiance. Fear can be tricky in the sense that it quite often masquerades as something that seems under our control. For example, your fear of touching a girl may... more

It is hard to hold onto a partner that isn't available emotionally or is lashing out when you face any kind of coflict between you.The conditions needed for healthy intimacy can not grow when there is an absence of common ground or lack of a sense of "safe space" between you.Learning to nurture... more

Good for you to realize you have just as much right to talk and be heard as he does.And, that your words deserve as much respect as his do.At a time which is relatively calm, introduce the topic of your hurt feelings from his difficulty listening to you speak.If it is so, tell him you value his... more

Well, there certainly is distance he creates between the two of you.Whether or not the reason is from his cheating on you is impossible to tell based only on the information here provided.You could open a general discussion about the lack of closeness you feel. Maybe he'll be more responsive to... more

I never heard of a marriage mediator before.Since you already went to counseling and the therapist observed your husband's tendency to see black and white in life, and because counseling functions on a deeper level than a mediator generally does, a marriage mediator sounds like a step backwards.Why... more

Hi Smyrna,Your husband is avoiding dealing with this problem. I understand how lonely you must feel, not only sexually, but emotionally too.From what you describe, it seems that he wants to be there for you, but he clearly has barriers to engaging fully around this issue. My hunch is that he doesn't... more

Have you said anything to your husband about the way you're feeling?Start with this.Sex is after all, a two person enterprise.If he would like to talk about the way you're feeling, great and wonderful. The two of you already are continuing to grow trust in your communication and relationship.If he... more

Feeling rejected and frustrated is a reasonable reaction to your experience with your husband. I want to encourage you that his actions may have little to do with you, and regardless of outcomes, I hope you find the help you need to process through your pain and still have hope for your marriage... more

Well, there is some good news and not-so-good news. The good news is that people are capable of moving on from relationships, even if the person showed them a sort of love that they've never felt they've had, or deserved, before. Sometimes, even just the fact that this has happened for them can... more