Intimacy icon
Intimacy

Intimacy is linked with feelings of closeness among partners in a relationship. It is usually characterized by love and attachment. These feelings may or may not be connected or confused with sexual... more
Intimacy is linked with feelings of closeness among partners in a relationship. It is usually characterized by love and attachment. These feelings may or may not be connected or confused with sexual feelings. In other relationships, intimacy has more to do with shared moments than sexual interactions. This is not an exact definition, but it seems that intimacy and healthy relationships go hand in hand. Indeed, intimacy is basic in any meaningful relationship: the basis of friendship and one of the foundations of love.
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Questions and Answers

Amanda Samuels
Amanda Samuels
Co-Parenting and Infidelity Couples Counseling

That is great that he shared this information with you, that you were tested (and hopefully everything was okay), and that he continues to answer your questions about the event. It sounds like you are still having some trouble with what happened, and that is okay, and normal/natural. The question... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Briana Thomas
Briana Thomas
Family and Other Relationships

One question I have, is how would this impact your relationship now if you were to know the answer? It sounds as though you may be experiencing issues with trust in your relationship. I believe the bigger issue here is not whether or he has had sex with someone else a few years ago, but more that... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide.   If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPC
Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor

A pedophile by definition is anyone who is sexually attracted to children. This is applicable to children to are pre-pubescent. So I'm repeating others here, but you are not a pedophile!The fact that you worry about this means that you wouldn't be OK with being a pedophile. Sounds like you have a... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide.   If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Brandon Coussens
Brandon Coussens
Couples Counseling, Premarital Counseling and Sex Therapy

The short answer is, NO! It is not wrong for you to be attracted to your girlfriend. You are a perfectly healthy person. When puberty hits, hormones start changing and it is a natural to be interested and attracted to others. It may feel wrong, especially if you are a Christian and have grown up in... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Brandon Coussens
Brandon Coussens
Couples Counseling, Premarital Counseling and Sex Therapy

I don't know that I should tell you to get a divorce. Some would, but I think there is something much deeper going on for you. I would be more concerned about figuring out the deeper reason you are having an affair. Do you have shame and guilt? Do you not like that you are doing this to your husband... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Brandon Coussens
Brandon Coussens
Couples Counseling, Premarital Counseling and Sex Therapy

I am sorry that you are struggling with this! I would love to help. I have a few questions first and I know you can't answer back unless you contact me. Do you use birth control? Is there pain during sex? Have you had sexual experiences before your husband? Have you ever experienced sexual abuse or... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Brandon Coussens
Brandon Coussens
Couples Counseling, Premarital Counseling and Sex Therapy

I want to be short and brief about this. First, If you can achieve a good erection at anytime without your girlfriend, your penis is fine. However, erections work through getting enough blood flow to the penis. If you are having any sort of mental related concern (anxiety, depression, stress, etc... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Brandon Coussens
Brandon Coussens
Couples Counseling, Premarital Counseling and Sex Therapy

Most men believe that getting an erection is just a given. However, research shows that men, even in their 20's and 30's can start to lose an erection sometimes. Unfortunately, what tends to happen is that men don't know this and become extremely upset and fearful after losing an erection because... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Brandon Coussens
Brandon Coussens
Couples Counseling, Premarital Counseling and Sex Therapy

Our actions unfortunately cannot be undone, and we all do things we regret. It is sometimes very hard for others to see past our worst behaviors and trying to force them to move forward or "get over them" doesn't usually work. Your fiance is probably grieving the losses and consequences that come... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

Strengthen your own belief in your right to a decent life and respect of who you are.From the brief description you write, your husband has very limited capacity to recognize how others feel and even less capacity to empathize with the person.The best you can do is convince yourself of your own... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.