Intimacy icon
Intimacy

Intimacy is linked with feelings of closeness among partners in a relationship. It is usually characterized by love and attachment. These feelings may or may not be connected or confused with sexual... more
Intimacy is linked with feelings of closeness among partners in a relationship. It is usually characterized by love and attachment. These feelings may or may not be connected or confused with sexual feelings. In other relationships, intimacy has more to do with shared moments than sexual interactions. This is not an exact definition, but it seems that intimacy and healthy relationships go hand in hand. Indeed, intimacy is basic in any meaningful relationship: the basis of friendship and one of the foundations of love.
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Questions and Answers

How do I tell a girl that I crossdress?

Bob Basque
Bob Basque
Modern - Effective - Therapy

It can be difficult to explore a personal desire, such as cross-dressing, when your partner does not share the same interest. It is important to communicate openly with your partner about this issue and try to discover what makes them uncomfortable with the idea. There are likely many factors at... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

I'm soon to be married, and I've been messing around with others

Bob Basque
Bob Basque
Modern - Effective - Therapy

Men who are married to women but also enjoy sex with other men may face many conflicting feelings. In some cases, they may feel guilty or ashamed for having these desires, while in others, they may be confused about them. It is important for any person with these feelings to understand that it is... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

My husband was lying about drinking again

Lynda Martens
Lynda Martens
Marriage & Family Therapist, MSc, RP, RMFT

Hi Los Angeles,So your husband is giving you mixed messages. He says he's willing to cut back on the drinking, but he drinks and hides it. His behaviour is passive aggressive and immature, which puts you into this position of having to act like a disapproving parent. It sounds more like you're... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

As exasperated as you feel, and as obvious it is to you that your husband cares more about drinking than being honest with you, changing this is up to him.Does he care that you're upset with him for drinking more than he can handle?Does he care about you more than drinking?Living with an alcoholic... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

How can I tell if my spouse had sex with a prostitute?

Amanda Watkins
Amanda Watkins
Seeking employment with a non-profit agency

I've been in this situation before and have some insight to share with you. In my experience, he was lying and trying to cover it up. By pushing you to std testing, he's distracting you so he can shift the guilt he feels and blame it on you. In a guilty man's mind I believe he's thinking-...if I... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Amy Higgs OTR/L, CLT, CAPS
Amy Higgs OTR/L, CLT, CAPS
Mobile Occupational Therapist: sensory bus for children with ASD, SPD, ADD/ADHD and trauma

The answer lies in what the outcome will be. How will things end if you find out he had sex with a prostitute? Will you leave? Will you try to work things out? The multiple versions are concerning. He seems unable to be truthful and this is damaging your relationship. Before considering marital... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

Should I be upset that my husband may have lied to me again?

Rovena Magidin, RTC
Rovena Magidin, RTC
Relationships, intimacy, sexuality

Trust was broken. Boundaries were crossed. You two are trying to make it work - and it's possible, but it's going to take some time, and some serious work and commitment. It's impossible to know if it was an honest mistake and he forgot, or if it was a lie. You asked "should I be upset?" Chances... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide.   If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

I want to have a threesome with my husband and another girl, but I feel really nervous

Rovena Magidin, RTC
Rovena Magidin, RTC
Relationships, intimacy, sexuality

This is such a good question, and there's lots to explore. This "empty" feeling - if you were to stay with it, not trying to change it, just trying to understand it better - what does it tell you? Are there thoughts that come with it? Fears/concerns? How does it feel in your body? Is that a familiar... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide.   If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

Because the acrobatics and excitement of sex has nothing to do with the meaning of deeper emotional attachment to another person with whom we are in a relationship.Try to distinguish between your feelings of excitement from the novel sexual arrangement and what you feel is necessary in order to feel... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

My husband only has sex with me once a month or less

Rovena Magidin, RTC
Rovena Magidin, RTC
Relationships, intimacy, sexuality

This is often a tough conversation, and most try to avoid it. It's understandable, and yet, it's a good conversation to have. How else would you know what's going on? I would probably start not by expressing your frustration, but by asking him what's going on for him. Is he happy with once a month... more

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide.   If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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