Human Sexuality

You need to have an honest conversation with each other about WHY you both want a threesome. Evaluate the status of your relationship with each other. Are you having issues? Fighting? Not feeling satisfied with each other? How has your sex life been with each other? If there are any problems... more

Hello there. As you have courageously explained your soulful dilemma. I can appreciate the complexity of this situation. You have identified some key factors that may be contributing to your sense of feeling "empty". One, is the ultimate goal here able to be acquired from this arrangement? Are... more

As someone who specializes in sexuality and polyamory, I can tell you that your experience is incredibly common. It can be helpful to keep in mind that alcohol lowers our inhibitions, and for first time threesomes or any new sexual behavior really, we humans tend to enjoy a little extra oomph to our... more

Hello, and thank you for your question. Nervousness, when doing something new, especially something sexual that can feel so personal, is very common. Indeed, despite the fact that nervousness can be uncomfortable, it is also part of the excitement of trying something new. Many people who engage in... more

I work with many couples that experience a wide range of sexual and relationship challenges. The one aspect I tell many folks that I work with, is this: Every person and relationship is different. There really isn't a "normal" amount of sex a person should have or want to have. If having sex 4 to... more

It's encouraging that you say you want "to be better connected with [your] husband," and since he hasn't left you, he must care about you and the relationship more than he does about just having sex. You don't say whether he complains or not, but even if he doesn't it seems there's a sense of... more

The numbers you write are low compared to how much sex many other people would be satisfied having.The key is your and your husband's satisfaction with the amount of sex you are having.And, know if there are reasons besides low sex drive that possibly explain this.Knowing the other possibilities... more

There are a lot of different things that could be playing a role here.First, different people have unique levels of sex drive, and sometimes there is a hormonal imbalance.Because you say both that there is a possibility that neither one of you "actually knows what you're doing," and you want to be... more

Without knowing much about your situation, I would encourage you to seek out either a sex therapist who is trauma-informed or a trauma therapist who has knowledge about sexual concerns. Even consensual sex can be experienced as an intrusion if a partner was not careful or insensitive to your pain... more

Thank you for your question. I think it's wonderful that you are approaching this with openness and curiosity. The reaction you are describing is extremely common in survivors of abuse. What you said is insightful...when you touch her "she feels as if she is being abused as a child." From your... more