My husband cheated before marriage—what can I do?

My husband cheated while I was pregnant with our son with a so-called friend. This was before we were married. We split and eventually worked things out. I thought I trusted him so we got married. Now he flirts with girls in front of me. I've talked to him, but nothing helps.

Revive Relationship Therapy
Revive Relationship Therapy
Therapy Practice in Chicago

It sounds like your relationship never returned to a trusting environment, even though you got back together.  Trust is a "pillar" of a solid relationship - meaning it MUST be intact to hold everything else together.  When you say you worked things out, what exactly does that mean?  In therapy, the cheating partner should be required to allow you transparency into their life, in as much detail as you need as well as be willing to discuss their indiscretions, answer all of your questions, and prove that they are worthy of trusting again.  Without that foundation for recovery, it is unlikely you will be able to fully move on and create a new normal with your partner.  I would suggest seeking therapy if you both are committed to rebuilding the trust, and attacking this head on with the guidance of a counselor who can help with accountability.  Good luck!

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

This sounds very painful for you.

Are you able to tell him how his flirting affects you?

Maybe he doesn't care enough to change, and maybe he does.

Long term if he continues this then usually people feel they have two choices, put up with it, which of course greatly reduces the sense of satisfaction in the relationship.   Or, of course, you can decide to end the relationship.  This choice is quite significant now that you have a child together.  Give yourself plenty of time to think over the best outcome.

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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