Is this depression?
I feel like I am internally screaming all the time. Externally, I am calm, but I have this intense, unidentifiable emotion constantly. I don't feel sad. I don't cry a lot. I feel rather emotionally distant other than the internal screaming. It kind of feels like I'm a caged animal.
It is hard to make a definite diagnosis however I would say that it could be and or a combination of depression, stress, PTSD, etc. More background information would have to be needed. One thing I would say is that you really need to seek guidance from a professional to work through these symptoms. If what you described as a caged animal is released, all the crying, sadness, and controllable emotions will come out. That would not be good when they do. Get help before they do..
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It sounds like you are trying to find a label to help you to understand why you are feeling the way you are feeling. Sometimes there are no labels for how we feel. Sometimes there is no name for the emotions that we are experiencing. Regardless, you do not have to continue to feel this way, no matter what you call it. If you are seeking to experience an internal calmness such as your external calmness, you may want to try some mindfulness practices or meditation. However, being able to get at the root cause of what you are feeling may be what you need to help you release this feeling for the long term. I recommend seeking support for this to allow this internal screaming to get some air and begin to breathe.
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