Is screaming and cussing at your child considered emotional abuse?

Oh my goodness, my heart goes out to you!!  I pray you have other strong and supportive loved ones or friends surrounding you. If you are in school, please consider speaking with a counselor on site who can help give you some good coping mechanisms as well as other resources.

I believe most therapists would agree that this type of behavior is indicative of emotional AND verbal abuse. And quite often the two overlap because someone who is being yelled at and demeaned is also frequently having his/her emotions preyed upon as well. 

And abuse survivor and author, Kellie Jo Holly, offers some other great examples of verbal abuse:

• Emotionally Abusive Statements

  • You’re so cute when you try to concentrate! Look at you trying to think.
  • I can’t believe I love a stupid jerk.
  • Aw, come on, can’t you take a joke?

  Sexually Abusive Statements

  • You should know how to please me by now.
  • I hoped you were less experienced.
  • Stop acting like a whore.

  Financially Abusive Statements

  • You are going to nickel and dime me to death!
  • In what world does buying that make sense?
  • Fine. You handle your finances. Let me know when things go to hell.

  Societally Abusive Statements

  • How dare you spread around our private business!
  • Let me do the talking; people listen to men.
  • You took a vow in front of God and everybody and I expect you to honor it!

  Threatening and Intimidating Statements

  • If you don’t train that dog I’m going to rub your nose in its mess.
  • I will take our kids if you leave me.
  • You’re scared?! This isn’t angry! You will KNOW when I’m ANGRY!

  Spiritually Abusive Statement

• Keep your stupid beliefs to yourself.
• God will find a way to get you back, and it ain’t gonna be pretty.
• I can feel myself being pulled into hell just listening to your nonsense!

I'm really sorry to hear that you are going through this.

It's a little difficult to answer your question because the laws that define child abuse are different from state to state. But usually, things like what you describe your dad is doing are not considered to be child abuse.

The more important thing is how you feel about what is going on. It sounds like this is really bothering you.

If you don't think you can talk to your dad about how you feel, you might want to try talking to another adult you trust (like a family member or teacher). They may be able to help you figure out some ways to communicate with your dad.

I think you might feel better if you can talk to someone about how your are feeling.

Yes, this emotional abuse.  There is no abuse without emotional abuse.  His abuse is demeaning and can have lasting negative impact on your perspective of your self and people around you.  Please find someone support to talk to.  

Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. Having said that, everyone gets upset once in awhile and may yell or scream, which can be disrespectful. You said "always, and I mean always" and that is troubling. If your dad curses and screams at you on a regular and consistent basis, it can (as you stated) impact the way you feel about yourself. 

While the definitions of child abuse differ from state to state, talking to someone can help. Perhaps there is a counselor at school, or another trustworthy person you could confide in to help you understand how this situation is impacting you? Counseling is a good option. 

There is also help available through the national hotline at 1-800-422-4453, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You can call (press 1) and talk to a counselor while being anonymous. You can also check out this website: https://www.childhelp.org/hotline/resources-kids/

I am sorry that you are going though this situation. There is help available. You do not have to go through this situation alone.

It sounds like your dad makes you feel badly about yourself when he screams, cusses at you, and compares you to your siblings. I am so, so sorry you are going through that. That would be considered emotional abuse because it sounds like he is greatly hurting your feelings when he is behaving in that way. My heart goes out to you. No one deserves to be treated like that and you do not have to allow yourself to be treated like that. Please try to find a therapist who could give you tips for creating healthy boundaries with your dad regarding how he treats you.

Yes, screaming and cussing at your child is considered abuse.

Here are two points I suggest you consider for your situation.

If your dad is ever calm when you and him are with one another,  ask for some time to talk about your relationship with him.

Schedule it for sometime in the near future from your request.   This way he has time to consider his points of view on his relationship to you.  

Even if he does no thinking about your relationship at all, he will not feel pressured by the surprise of suddenly being expected to talk about a topic he may prefer to prepare himself.

My second point to you is to keep steady in your own views of who you are.  When a parent demeans and mistreats a child, the child is affected in a negative way.  Concentrate on loving yourself and keeping people in your friendship circle who care about you.