I'm disgusted by my own fetish
I have an overwhelming desire to watch my wife have sex with another man. I talked to her about it, and she said she will do it for me. The idea excites me to no end, but I don’t want to because it disgusts me. How can I stop wanting it, or should I just give into it and do it? I’ve been struggling for years with this. It won’t go away. By the way, I am in my mid 30s and my wife is in her mid 40s.
Try to understand your own ambivalence to having your wish fulfilled.
Since you and your wife are in a relationship, the sex she will have with another man will affect emotions in both you and your wife.
I suggest you and her prepare emotionally before you both go ahead with the sexual arrangement,
By anticipating any jealousy or feeling helpless or out of control, or in control, since it's your wish being fulfilled, all the feelings you and her are able to expect, you'll be more prepared for the actual emotions from the episode, which may also resolve your conflicted feelings about creating the event.
There are a lot of unknowns in the situation you're considering. Having your partner, who will be key in satisfying your sex wish, be active in understanding these unknowns, is a good way of keeping your relationship strong overall.
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