I just lost my grandpa

I'm sorry your grandpa died.

Good for you to write on this site about wanting help to know how best to live with this new loss.

Have you looked online for blogs and forums about adjusting to a recent death?  

That you know you'd like another person to help you adjust, is a good sign of your own mental health stability.

It is possible that reading online blogs and discussion forums, writing on these if you feel like doing so, and possibly joining a local free support group, will be all you need to feel better.

There is no set timeline in grief.   Let yourself take as much time as you feel is best for you.

Grief can be confusing, and it can be hard to know who to talk to and how you are supposed to feel. It can be helpful to talk to a trusted adult to get support with talking to your family  about your need for counseling at this difficult time. You can find free resources and support online at:

-https://whatsyourgrief.com

-www.GriefNet.org

-The Dougy Center at https://www.tdcschoolkit/org/teens

My condolences to you. Dealing with the loss of a loved one is certainly an  emotionally devastating experience particularly in the early stages of grief. Healing from grief can include counseling, but also attending grief support groups can be helpful. Generally, there is no cost for attending a group apart from a voluntary donation.The universality of experience as well as the cohesion that happens between members contributes to healing in a significant way. During a pandemic, meetings may have been cancelled. However, you can also find support in attending online grief support groups. Compassionate Friends  is an organization which helps families deal with the death of a child, but their website provides excellent resources for related groups you might want to explore that may  lead you to an active online support group. All the best to you.

It's really admirable that you are reaching out to get help for something that can be very hard to deal with on your own.

Many counselors work based off a sliding-scale, meaning they may lower their fees to meet client's needs.  This can vary by location and therapist availability.  Another option is to try searching for counselors that would consider working with you probono.  There's no harm in asking!

It also may be helpful to check with your insurance company to see what services they cover and what their copay is.  

If it turns out that you are unable to find what you need, there are still many online support groups you can search via Google and/or Facebook that are specifically geared toward loss of loved ones.

Feeling profound sadness after the death of a loved one? Experiencing excessive guilt about something left unsaid or undone? Are you gripped with fear? Caught in a cycle of anxiety, helplessness, or panic? Having trouble resuming a normal life with grief and pain as your constant companions? Grief counseling could help you understand what's happened and provide professional help and support through it.

Learn to cope with their grieving experience.

Grief is a natural human response to loss. That doesn’t mean the loss of a loved one isn’t an intense and at times desolate experience. While painful experiences are normal during this time, your emotions may feel trapped on a non-stop roller coaster. You may experience downs and deeper downs interspersed with periods of brief respite.

You can learn to express and come to terms with the broad range of emotions involved in the grieving process, from those that you may expect — sadness, loneliness, exhaustion -  to those that come as a surprise, such as relief, anger, and a sense of confusion. We offer a variety of therapeutic approaches to best support you and work with you as an equal collaborator to empower and engage your healing.

Loss is a very personal journey, with some finding it more difficult than others. While grieving for the same person can often foster compassion and connection among family and friends, it’s also common for the grieving to struggle with anger, conflict, a lack of understanding, or an inability to fully share your feelings with others. Grief and bereavement counseling can provide you a much-needed safe space to work through your struggles with a caring, nonjudgmental professional.

Do any of these describe you? 

• You’re struggling to come to terms with a loss
• You feel overwhelmed with grief, fear, despair, or worry
• Your faith seems shattered and you feel abandoned at your time of greatest need
• You feel alone as everyone else seems to have moved on without you
• You want to live a happier, more connected life
• You’d like professional support to better cope through the grieving process

A counselor may offer the support, guidance, and expert care you need. In grief and bereavement counseling we work with you toward lessening the pain so you can function well in your post-loss life. We listen with empathy, discuss ways to deal with unhelpful and unhealthy thoughts and behaviors, and teach you techniques to manage distress and enable you to move forward. 

If you connect with your therapist and can say whatever you want to say and not be judged. If you feel like things, situations, your outlook are shifting for you. 

Y'know, to see a man you've loved and care for pass on must make ya' want to cry and weep a bunch, don't it?

And, may I say to you that... (as I've long since said)... if you need to mourn, take about a week or so and mourn like your life depended on it.  I mean, get to weeping, gnashing, moaning, crying, solemnness, and reflection.

And then, after about a week or so, reflect on the man as if he were a well-beloved traveler... sent off on a wondrous journey that will consume and encapsulate his entire awareness... and...

Rather than expression vibrations of fatigue, sadness, and anger, send him the finest recollections and images you have of him, and regard him fondly...

For, I think you will realize that the dead are not gone forever, but are actually extraordinarily active... and when he sees what you express out from within yourself, he experiences it himself (probably more than you know); so, why not send the very best you have out to him :)

I am sorry for your loss. I understand the difficulty of needing help and not having financial resources. In some areas, you can dial 211 and find resources in the area that may be free of cost or low cost. In addition, often hospitals and community centers, churches, etc. have support groups. These are often free and many include grief and loss issues. Finally, there are some therapists who work on sliding scales and even sometimes offer pro bono sessions for clients. Hopefully some of these leads work out for you so that you can get the support that you need.

Losing someone you love, someone who has been there from your very first days, is really hard.  Look for a local hospice support organization in your community - grief groups and counseling are often available through these centers.  Don't just tough it out and wait for your sadness to fade.  Your grandfather would not want that for you.  Take extra good care of yourself and get some support

Your local hospice will have grief support groups and free community counseling available with bereavement counselors who are expects with grief and loss. 

Hello,

I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your grandpa. My suggestion would be to look into community mental health agencies in your area. Sometimes they can offer low-fee counseling. You can also check the hospitals in your area because they may offer free or low-fee bereavement support groups, which can be very helpful. Lastly, you may want to look into reading some books about grief as they can help you understand the general effects of grief and feel comforted that you are not alone. Lastly, some therapists offer sliding scale, or reduced fee so it doesn't hurt to call some local therapists to see if they offer could offer a very low-fee. I hope this helps! Please take good care of yourself. Grief is so difficult but please know the pain will ease up over time. 

Warmly,

Angela Topcu, MFT

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. He must have been very special to you and it definitely makes sense that you are having a hard time with it. 

Counseling may be an option if you have a university near you with a graduate marriage and family therapist program. Graduate students provide counseling at a very low cost as part of their traineeship.  Here is an example... http://www.clucounseling.org/.  Another possibility is a support group for bereavement and loss. Many are free. 

I wish you the best towards healing your heart.  

I'm sorry you lost your grandpa.  Some things that may help you through this tough time are to journal or write about special memories you have of your grandpa.  You could also journal about your feelings of loss and how you miss him.  Another thing that might help is to talk with a friend or family member.  Sharing special memories of the person you lost can help you to grieve.

If you would like to pursue counseling I would suggest doing an internet search for grief groups in your area.  Sometimes hospitals or hospice centers will offer them for free or low cost.  You can also do an internet search for non-profit counseling clinics in your area.  Many cities and towns will have a non-profit clinic that can provide low cost counseling, it might be worth checking into.