I don't believe in myself anymore

I was married to a narcissist sociopath for 10 years. During that time I was a general manager. I used to help him financially and in other ways when we were together. But things began to change. He emotionally and sexually drained me. I lost my spirit. I used to be a very happy person but now I am a loner. I left him and moved to another state. Currently, I'm working as a server which makes me believe less in myself. I feel pity for myself a lot but don't know what to do. When I have money problems, he does not help me. He actually enjoys seeing me have a hard time in my life. I need help.

Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

Congratulations on leaving your marriage!

It is ok and natural to feel sadness, loss, uncertainty in direction, hurt, resulting from ending the marriage.

Possibly what you consider "pity" is a combination of these feelings.

Be kind and caring toward who you are since you just put yourself through a major separation and need time to clear out the old emotions that connected you to your ex.

There is very, very little chance of him helping you since he lacks compassion and empathy.

More likely any help he gave would be in order to manipulate you.

Maybe for now your server job is ok do you have more time to concentrate on taking care of your emotions.

You were a manager once, you can be a manager again when you feel ready for doing so.

Good luck!

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide.   If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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