I always fear that people are judging me

I know this fear doesn't make sense. How can I overcome it?

Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPC
Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor

Your fear may not seem "rational" but that doesn't mean it doesn't make sense!  There's 100% a reason for why this fear happens for you.  Most everyone has this fear because we are social animals and need to care what others think of us sometimes.  When it becomes a bigger issue is when it keeps you from enjoying your life or interferes with your functioning.

Do you think it may have to do with uncertainty of what others may be thinking of you? Or that people will ultimately reject you? Sometimes when we don't know what others think, we assume they judge.  This is especially true if you've experienced direct judgment or bullying in your past, or if a significant parent or caregiver in your life made you feel shame.

When I have a client that often fears others are judging them, I have them list out the evidence they see to support that.  What evidence is there to tell you that someone is judging you?  If you take something as evidence, also ask yourself if they behave the same with other people.  When we fear judgment, we often micro-analyze and misinterpret people's body language to mean something it doesn't.  

It can also help to make a mental or actual list of other possibilities.  Most people are concerned about what others are thinking of them, so it's possible people you interact with are wondering what you think of them.  It's also possible they are judging you positively--what are some things in this category that people have told you about how they see you?  Sometimes taking feedback from people closest to you whom you trust can be the most accurate representation of how others may see you.  

Counseling could be a great option as well because I guarantee these fears will show up in sessions and that's GOOD.  It gives you a chance to process them with someone who will help you understand these fears and may even give you genuine feedback about how they perceive you (at the right time).  It can be very healing!  

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Dr. Timothy Paul
Dr. Timothy Paul
'man'; Online - "Natural Health Consultant and Coach"
No, it makes sense :)

Consider today how social media has impacted the mind and heart of man;

Is it not so extraordinarily easy to make one appear stellar on social media today?  Heh heh, I've long since joked that the definition of a party is:  "A series of photos to lie with."

When I peel back the awareness of others' "judgment", what I find is excitement of wanting to express themselves too...

It's funny how America is one of the few lands on the planet where folks are able to mess up and try it again; on most other places, if you mess up, there is such deep shame in it, that it may lead to one taking one's life;
If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call...  (more)If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room. All written by 'i': 'man'; is [My] Property;
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

Stop caring about what you imagine people are thinking about you!

Really this is the simple and complicated answer to feel better about your situation.

Maybe someone is judging you, maybe someone isn't judging you.

Until the person tells you directly what they don't like about you, there's nothing you can do.

It is okay that the fear doesn't make sense, most fears don't make sense.

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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