How do I repair my friendship?

My best friend and I were pranking her friend, and I told her to tell him that she likes him. She said no, but I forced her. After she told him, he told her that he likes her too. Their friendship is ruined because of me. She won't forgive me, and I feel really guilty. I feel like crying.

Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

In order for your friend to forgive you she'd need to trust you understand the damage you introduced into her relationship with her friend.

Its possible if you offer your friend expressions of your empathy toward her  over an extended time, possibly she'll forgive you.

You're certainly learning relationship lessons on how to treat people and the effect of betraying another person, which will last forever.

Maybe this was meant to be the outcome.

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Lauren Ostrowski, MA, LPC, NCC, DCC, CCTP
Lauren Ostrowski, MA, LPC, NCC, DCC, CCTP
I tailor my therapeutic approach to each client's strengths and goals

This takes time. I don't know how long it has been, but perhaps if your friend is willing to discuss other things with you for a little while, you could discuss this at some point in the future.

Hopefully the true intentions will become apparent (in the idea that it was a prank).

Also, I encourage you to look at how this is affecting you and how you feel about yourself as well. If it was meant to be a joke and it did not work, that is not entirely your fault.

I wonder how you could forgive yourself for what happened?

  • Are you able to seek what you meant to do compared to what actually happened?
  • Do you notice that not everything that has happened here is in your control?
  • Do you recognize that even though you would like things to be better, if your friend is not ready or willing, you are trying to do your part to make it right?
  • Maybe everyone who is/was involved in this can talk together all at the same time to set straight what is truth and what was misunderstood.
  • I wonder if you can think of your own positive attributes (for example: honesty, compassion, trustworthiness, friendship, good listener, caring) and look at what truly exists within you rather than just one your friend is able to see right now.

This can be really difficult for multiple reasons, not the least of which is that it involves more than just you, so it's important to focus on the idea that you can ask these other people who were involved to discuss it, but that is ultimately up to them.

Best wishes for looking at the positive parts of yourself and your friendships.

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal, as if you want to hurt or kill yourself or someone else, or are in crisis, call 800-273-8255 (24 hours a day, 7 days a week), call 911, or proceed to your local emergency room.

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