How do I not be angry all the time?

My roommate is a unapologetic person who doesn't care who she hurts. She never apologizes to me or my family. She made me lose my temper today to the point where I was using swear words in front of my mom and brother.

Wendy Gagne
Wendy Gagne
Marriage Family, Individual Specialty ADHD and ANGER
You must be feeling frustrated about how to resolve this. Some people seem to really provoke emotional responses in us. One thing to learn for a quick review of yourself when you are provoked is to pay attention to your body. 
Notice your heart rate, fists clenched, some warmth going through your body and these are signs that the interaction is toxic for you. Move out of the room, say something calling to both of you and let things simmer down before responding. 
When you are able to calm your body, think of ways to bring the issue to her attention using positive words but holding your ground. If she doesn't listen ask someone to come with you to talk to her about it, If she still won't listen, reassess your expectations of her.
Finally if you need to , you may have to consider changing the status of your rooming together.
The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

Must you keep this roommate in your life?

If you've tried speaking with the person about your unhappiness to feel angry "all the time" , the problem has been going on for an extended amount of time and nothing changes, then the next step would be for both of you to part ways.

It is possible each of you triggers the other in very deep and irrational ways on occasion.

If the choice is to tolerate being triggered or to dissolve the relationship, then your decision is which of these two choices is better for you.

Since you already know you don't like to be triggered, parting ways as soon as reasonably possible, seems the choice you prefer.

Either choice is fine.  Let the decision depend on which way makes you feel life is livable and happy!

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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