How do I fix or leave a bad relationship?

My ex-boyfriend and I have been back and forth for over a year now. He's in his late 20s, divorced for like five years now with two kids. He has a lot of narcissistic behaviors. He lies and cheats, but I love him. I've tried to date other people, but I always go back to him.

Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

Try to figure out why you go back to him.

Love is never enough reason to sustain a relationship.

Though your love may feel and be very real, the fact of the frequent breaks show that some quality or dynamic within the relationship is not satisfying enough to sustain the two of you.

Always people are better off with some time separation between relationships.  This gives a chance to know what you were looking for and din't find in the ended relationship.

Dating other people before you have time to understand what did and didn't work well in a relationship, will make the new dates seem like a lacking comparison to the first guy.

Also, lying and cheating are very demoralizing.  Maybe your higher self tries to take you out from this situation and you first need to strengthen your spirit in order to follow your own best interest.

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Lauren Ostrowski, MA, LPC, NCC, DCC, CCTP
Lauren Ostrowski, MA, LPC, NCC, DCC, CCTP
I tailor my therapeutic approach to each client's strengths and goals

There are a lot of pieces to the decision of whether to stay or leave. Can you have open conversations about your concerns? Is he able to listen to that? I'm not sure how you know for sure that he lies and cheats, but does he recognize these things as problems? Which part of you is bigger: the part of you that wants to stay or the part of you that wants to leave? Can you consider what you want, wish for, and desire while also considering the same for him? Can he do that for you?

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 800-273-8255, call 911, or proceed to your local emergency room.

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