How can I take care of my depression from a breakup?

I have been falling into a deep depression where I can no function during the day and night. The only time I am at peace is when I’m asleep. If I am with friends, family, at work, and mainly alone, I cannot think straight. I no longer feel like myself.

Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

Have you tried to allow yourself some breathing space to emotionally recuperate from the breakup?

Sometimes people expect themselves to bounce back faster than is feasible.  Then, the suffer from both the sadness and distractibility from the breakup in addition to the suffering which is self-induced by not permitting time to feel upset about the loss of the relationship.

Be gentle and kind toward yourself because loving yourself will release some of the tension you feel.

Since you write that you cannot function and you wrote a question on an online website, maybe you're not giving yourself enough credit for your capacity to function.

Anyone who is not functioning wouldn't be capable to write a question about themselves.

While what you write about yourself is in broad terms, my equally broad answer is you may be doing better than you think and the key problem is the discomfort and impatience that the feeling of sadness from the breakup, was more in the past than currently is the case.

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Lauren Ostrowski, MA, LPC, NCC, DCC, CCTP
Lauren Ostrowski, MA, LPC, NCC, DCC, CCTP
I tailor my therapeutic approach to each client's strengths and goals

I don't know how long ago your breakup was, but I would suggest that you reach out to friends or family that you trust and perhaps a local mental health clinician.

I'm not sure what you mean when you say that you are not able to function during the day and night. If you are having trouble sleeping for more than a few nights, consider talking with your primary care physician. Not sleeping can really make changes in your emotions seem much larger.

Can you find anything in your life that is the same as it was before the breakup? This may be a starting point for you. I wonder if you could think of and moment or two each day when you feel emotionally at peace while you are awake. Also consider looking at things that you can control, such as when you choose to wear, eat, and who you talk to about your deepest feelings.

You mentioned that you have friends and family. I wonder if any of them are supportive to you.

Please reach out and talk to someone about the details. I get the sense that you feel that you are alone in this, and having someone there to help you sort out what you're feeling sounds like it would be a gift to yourself. 

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal, as if you want to hurt or kill yourself or someone else, or are in crisis, call 800-273-8255 (24 hours a day, 7 days a week), call 911, or proceed to your local emergency room.
Vivian D. Echevarria Guzman, MSC, LPC-S, NCC
Vivian D. Echevarria Guzman, MSC, LPC-S, NCC
Bilingual Licensed Professional Counselor

It is common to go through a stage of adjustment after a breakup, which may include depression symptoms. I recommend practicing self-care:  stressing on balancing your life with healthy eating, exercise, resting and looking at your spiritual life.  These steps should assist you in giving your body and mind some balance.  Practice cognitive reframing, this is training your brain to refocus, and stay on task.  Meditation is a great tool to clear your mind during the day as well; there are multiple apps that help. If the problem persists a therapist could assist you in learning to focus and process those thoughts and feelings that cloud you mind.

¿Cómo puedo manejar la depresión después de una separación?

He estado cayendo en una depresión profunda que no me permite funcionar durante el día. El único memento en el que estoy en calma es cuando duermo.  Si estoy con mis amigos, familia, en el trabajo o a solas, no puedo pensar claramente. Ya no me siento como yo.

Es común pasar por un estado de ajuste después de una separación, y este ajuste puede incluir síntomas de depresión.  Recomiendo que practiques auto compasión: esforzarte en balancear tu vida comiendo saludable, ejercitándote, descansando y analizando tu vida espiritual.  Estos pasos te ayudarán a balancear tu mente y cuerpo.  También puedes practicar reenfocar tus pensamientos para mantener tu mente clara. La meditación es una buena manera de practicar el enfoque mental, y existen muchas aplicaciones que te pueden ayudar.  Si el problema persiste tu consejero te puede ayudar a aprender técnicas de enfoque a procesar pensamientos  o sentimientos que te estén afectando. 

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room. La información provista es para propósito general basado en información mínima, no constituye aviso medico. Esta información tampoco constituye una comunicación directa con un consejero o terapista y no crea una relación entre cliente y terapeuta o desarrolla ningún privilegio. Si tiene pensamientos suicidas o está en crisis puede llamar al 911 o visitar su sala de emergencias mas cercana.

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