How can I detach from my psychopathic boyfriend of seven years?

I Googled “chronic lying” and found several websites describing what behaviors both he and I have been experiencing. Both of us agree we have an uncanny, unbreakable bond. He’s been unfaithful many times, while he remains my only intimate mate. How can I learn to detach from him as he is not going to change?

Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

First step is to detach, then learn about it.

An attachment to a pathological liar, or to someone who is psychopathic, is based on insecurity, fear, or a sense to rescue someone, or of pity.   None of these attachment methods are healthy for human growth for either of you.  

He lies to you and this is clearly not usual in relationships which truly are intimate.   Someone who lies is not trustworthy and without trust there is also no intimacy.

The type of attachment between you and this person is not discussable in reasonable terms.   The bond is strong and irrational.

Once you have separated from this person you'll have more freedom to know within yourself of what kept the relationship going for seven years.

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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