How can I deal with my best friend, whom I have a crush on, having a crush on someone else?

I've known my best friend for eight years, and I've slowly begun to form a crush on him. I sort of thought he liked me back until he told me about his actual crush. I have really bad anxiety over this.

Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPC
Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
That must feel heartbreaking to you.  

Where do you think that anxiety comes from?  I would try some self-reflecting to see what comes up there.  Maybe you are worried about losing your best friend, or something completely different.  It's understandable that you would have a lot of feelings in this situation, especially since this person is very close to you.  

The dealing with it part is probably going to be pretty tough.   You are processing through circumstances that you probably can't talk to him, your best friend, about.  Do you have anyone else you can talk through it with?  Maybe another good friend or someone that knows the situation?  When we're most in need sometimes we become more aware of who around us can be of help.  A counselor can help here, too if that's an option you are considering or have access to.

If he does start leaning on you to talk about his crush, there may be some boundaries that you could consider putting up.  That may mean distancing from him a bit, or telling him how you feel.  That part is all up to what you feel most right doing and what works best for your friendship.  

Try to remember that you are not less than just because he may not reciprocate the same romantic feelings you do.  We are all worthy of that kind of love.
The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide.   If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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