How can I be interested in the same sex after nearly 40 years of being straight?

After 40 years of being straight, how could I now find myself interested in people of the same sex? I have had a few same sex encounters of my own doing.

Ingrid d
Ingrid d'Aquin
I am offering new possibilities in life. I help people find RELIEF and HOPE..

What most people don't know is that sexual preferences can be fluid, meaning our sexual orientation is not as fixed as most people believe.  Women in particular tend to be more fluid in their desire to express and experience sex.  It is not uncommon for heterosexual women in their mid-life to explore new sexual appetites.  That said, men tend to be more rigid in their orientations particularly if they are hetero while gay men tend to be more fluid.  So if your distress is over your new interests I would tell you, you are not alone and not abnormal.  Since you have started exploring, enjoy and consider seeing a therapist to help you navigate your feelings around this new sexual life! Warm wishes.  

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Christina McGrath Fair
Christina McGrath Fair
"Enlightenment is when a wave realizes it is the ocean." -Thich Nhat Hanh

Sexuality is fluid. It is possible to find yourself attracted sexually or affectionally to different types of people at different times in your life.

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

During these encounters did you feel safe? accepted? Where you able to experience something new in your life? 

It is natural to feel attraction to all people. As young children we love everyone. It was as we got older that the social constructs had us make a "choice". It could have been that you were always attracted to the same sex, but now are allowing yourself to feel and explore. But also know that life is interesting as we grow and mature we find that we like things we never liked before, things we said we would never do now seem appealing. 

What is the story you are telling yourself about having these interests? Try to not overthink your attractions. See where they take you. You are on a journey to discover yourself. 

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

There are many possible answers to your question.

The best one will be the one you decide after reflecting on your own reasoning as to your sexual attraction change.

Sometimes people inhibit their sexuality bc of fear others will disapprove.  Currently since in most circles being gay is acceptable, the conditions are much easier now to come out.

Maybe this describes you.

How happy are you in your marriage?

Sometimes people find it easier to discover a sudden change in their sexuality than to face painful emotions in an existing marriage.

These are only two theoretical possibilities and may not even reflect your own.

What matters is your self-discovery and that you trust your findings as the answer to your question.

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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