Am I gay if I like neither girls nor guys?

I'm a guy. If I don't like girls, nor do I like guys, does that mean I'm gay?

Traci Lowenthal
Traci Lowenthal
LGBTQAffirmative Therapist

It doesn't sound like you are finding yourself attracted to anyone.  It could mean that you just haven't connected with anyone you find attractive, or that you are asexual - essentially not oriented toward anyone.  I would suggest doing some reading on asexuality and see if it connects to how you feel!

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Robin Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCC
Robin Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCC
Mental Health in a Primary Care Setting

Hi, and thanks for your question. I agree with my colleagues about researching asexuality, but I want too add a couple of things about that:

Here is a website that you can start with to get some information about asexuality -

http://www.asexuality.org/home/

There are a whole lot of myths surrounding asexuality. One is that people who are asexual have absolutely no interest in sex, and that is not always the case. There are variations of asexuality. Some people who are asexual have an interest in sex and others don't. Also, once you read more on this topic, you may find that you don't connect with asexuality either, and that is okay.

Our society usually thinks of sexual orientations as only being straight, gay, lesbian, or bisexual, but the truth is there are many variations of sexual orientations. Keep exploring. There is a good chance that there is a community of people who feel like you do.

Finally, labels are important for a lot of things, but labeling ourselves can sometimes lead to some painful feelings. Try not to feel pressured to label yourself too quickly. This is your journey. Your experience. Take all the time you need. You may never feel the need to label how you feel, and that is okay, too.

Hope this helps. Be well.

Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC

 

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Lisa Shouldice
Lisa Shouldice
Psychotherapist MA, RP, CCP

No, it does not necessarily.  Your sexual preference is based on who you ARE attracted to, not what does not turn you on.  If you find you have no sex drive at all, this is called asexual.  But you did not mention what you do find arrousing either.  Hope this helps.

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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