How do I deal with my alcoholic boyfriend with a dark past?

We're in an eight year relationship. My boyfriend drinks a lot. He experienced childhood trauma. I don't know how to deal with violent outbursts.

Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

You shouldn't need to educate yourself on violent outbursts.  

He is the one in the position to change his violent outbursts.   They are his behavior, not yours.  All you're trying to do is have a relationship with this guy.

The one task to do is during a quiet time to tell your boyfriend the way you feel about his outbursts.

His answer, whether he denies having a problem, blames you for his problem, tells you the problem isn't so bad, why are you complaining, tells you a lot about his willingness to change.

Whether or not he considers himself to have a problem and wants to change himself, is very good for you to know.

This tells you what to expect from him in future.   You can reflect and plan ahead for your own life depending on your tolerance and willingness to live with what he answers you.

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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