How can I help my fiancé accept and let go of my past?

My fiancé and I come from a strong Christian background but both went off the "straight and narrow" once before. He is having a hard time accepting my past, especially that I'm not a virgin. He has a hard time in general accepting himself and others.

His insecurities are hurting our relationship. How can I help him let go of my past and decide to live in the present?

David Mora- M.A. LPC
David Mora- M.A. LPC
A helpful listening ear

You might ask your fiance about people who have let him down in the past; past hurts from parents, friends, people he has dated. If you are speaking about jealousy he may come from a divorced parent upbringing, may have seen parents cheat on one or the other, may have had partners cheat on him in the past.  He may have fears that you may go off the "straight and narrow" once you get married. Listen to any concerns with patience and understanding, avoid being defensive. 

I would highly encourage pre-marital counseling to explore these things and individual counseling for himself to work on fears and anxieties. If he refuses and things do not improve I would consider postponing the wedding, things will not get better once you get married, only magnified.  

Finally show him Bible passages about forgiveness and worry and leaning on God with faith and hope for the future.    

God bless.  

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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