How can I deal with a “crush” in a relationship?

I’ve been in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend for just over a year. This past week she admitted to me that she has feelings for another guy. She says it’s “just a crush” but I don't know how to cope with it.

How should I deal with this?

Dr. Bonnie Howell
Dr. Bonnie Howell
Now in St. Petersburg, Fl

You didn't define "long distance" or the specific circumstances leading up to it.  That having been said, if there is any way you could precipitate a Face to Face, even if it's by Zoom, FaceTime, Skype or the like.  You two need to have an honest discussion about how long distance is working out for both of you, and she would do well to define "feelings" and I'd want to know more about "just a crush."  Sure we sometimes have passing fantasies about someone, probably human nature, long distance relationships may be more prone to letting those fantasies cross over into reality.  Without being confrontational (and I do know what I'm asking), suggest that you get together to talk about what she's going through, why she thinks this crush came up, and whether it might impact on the relationship between the two of you.  So you have an agenda.  Before that conversation, listen to your own head and heart, do you trust her implicitly, do you love her unconditionally, and does she feel the same about you.  You get to both ask and answer this question "How would you feel if I said that same thing to you" and you're going to tell her how you do feel.  Best of luck to you, not an easy one.

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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