What can I do about my boyfriend being so close with another girl?

My boyfriend has this close female friend. It always bothered me because of how close they are, so I decided to meet her. That made the situation worse because they were even closer than what I thought. They acted like a couple rather than friends with each other. There was no physical interaction, but he talks to this girl a lot. What can I do? Leaving him isn't an option.

Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

Well, as hurtful as witnessing your boyfriend's closeness with his female friend, I"m glad you saw firsthand the dynamic of your concern.

There isn't anything you can directly do to stop his relationship with this lady.

It is possible to influence his side of their relationship.

Directly telling him your discomfort with how close the two are, may make him pause before engaging with her in a discussion.  This is nothing to count on since the control is in his hands and not yours.

I'm sorry to read that the option to leave this relationship is out of the question.

The only way left is to get used to the fact that you don't like this aspect of your boyfriend, and this is a disheartening outlook overall to you and to your relationship overall.

If after repeated effort to influence him by your opinions, your effort to adjust to a situation you don't like, if at all possible, consider a longterm plan to discontinue this relationship because by that time it may feel very oppressive in your life.

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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