I don't know how to communicate with my adult daughter

There is just no communication at all between us. She sleeps constantly all day (not at night). She acts angry and unfocused and stays in her very messy room all the time. The only time she comes out is to eat.

She has aches and fatigue, weight gain, hair loss and skin problems. She does not look after her health.

I don't know how to communicate with her. She is not open to any suggestions. How do I get through to her?

Robin K. Schnitzler
Robin K. Schnitzler
Couples reclaiming connection!

This sounds like a painful situation, where you care about your daughter and want to help, yet you feel helpless to do so. I'm sorry you are going through this. You do not mention how old your daughter is, which makes a huge difference in my mind as to how to approach this. If she is a minor, then you have a responsibility for her health and wellbeing. If she is 18 or older, this shifts a bit. 

I would suggest slowing everything down and consider your goals. If you continue to require her to behave differently every time you interact, she will likely continue to tune you out. 

However, if you choose to prioritize your relationship and connection to her, there are other approaches. These include taking an interest in her, as a person. Being willing to talk with her without making any suggestions, and if possible, withholding judgment about what she is doing or not doing. This takes practice and tremendous control because of our tendency as parents to want to fix what's wrong. 

Best wishes. 

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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