How can I tell if my spouse had sex with a prostitute?

My spouse visited the red light district a couple of years back in Amsterdam. After he got back from the trip he got me tested for stds. In the aftermath he has provided multiple versions of what happened, from having a total blackout to being touched by a prostitute. How do I know if he had sex?

Allison Middleton
Allison Middleton
Trauma Informed, Person-Centered

This may not be the answer that you want to hear, but it will be impossible for you to be certain of whether or not your spouse had sex unless they tell you that they remember they did. 

In order to elicit the most honest response, it is important that you give your partner a safe, nonjudgmental place to communicate with you. You might begin by telling your partner that it is important for you to understand his experience so that you have some clarity on what happened based on what he remembers. You can also tell him that honest communication will help you support and trust him. Staying calm and clear-minded during difficult conversations takes practice, but you have every right to take breaks to collect yourself if what he tells you impacts you. Remember that fostering a relationship with open dialogue is the first step to true intimacy and connection.

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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