How would I know if I have the right therapist?

This is a really important question, because you don't want to waste your time and money with a therapist who is not a good fit for you.  I think the most important factor that makes a good therapist match is trust-- do you trust this person to be able to help you meet your therapy goals?  There are few things you can do upfront to test this out, without spending a dime.  First, ask for personal recommendations from friends or others.  If you know someone who had a great experience with a certain therapist, you'll feel more confident in that person right off the bat.  Second, do your online research.  Google the person's name and read everything you can find.  Many therapists are starting to develop more of an online presence because they know that's a way future clients can develop trust without even stepping in their door.  See if they have a blog, social media posts, or even just read the tone of the content on their website.  This might give you a glimpse of their therapy style.  Finally, you can call or email potential therapists and provide a brief overview of your presenting problem and describe what you're looking for in your ideal therapist.  It sounds like you have a specific idea of what you're looking for... most therapists will be honest if they don't feel they're going to meet your expectations.  Some therapists offer free short phone consultations which can help you both decide if you would work well together.  Do your homework upfront, and you'll be well on your way to finding a great therapist for you!