PTSD is impacting my whole life

There's so many treatments for PTSD and trauma-related issues.  Your path might look different than what someone else's path looks like, though most people benefit from learning emotional awareness and regulation, increasing tolerance for talking about traumatic situations, and a deep understanding of how to tell the difference between a past vs. present event.  A counselor that you feel connected to can offer you a safe place to explore these areas and come up with a personalized treatment plan.  It's common to feel worse when you're addressing the tough stuff, but there's really no shortcut to healing.  Even if you don't see a counselor, believe in your ability to get through those emotions.  You've probably been enduring some intense emotions if your life is being turned upside-down, so you can definitely make it through whatever is causing you pain--and remember you don't have to do it alone.

Bessel Van Der Kolk (basically the leading trauma researcher) has an amazing book called 'The Body Keeps the Score'.  It's the trauma bible. It's all about how the body reacts to and stores trauma, with many different ways to cope.  Trigger warning though--he does share some client stories that involve trauma.  They aren't the bulk of his book but they do show up so just be aware of that.  You can find his book on amazon pretty cheap.

You've already reached out and that's a big part of getting your life back.  Keep pushing through!