How would I know if I have the right therapist?

There is no such thing as a therapist that is "right" for someone. Outside of getting a "bad" therapist who shouldn't be in the industry almost any counselor should be able to make the appropriate choices. Remember counseling is a process, you and the therapist work together for the common goal of your mental health. The best way to train them for what you need is to communicate. "What you said last time was really helpful", "I don't think this homework is something I'm ready to commit to". "I like learning more about skills" or "I just have a lot on my mind this session and I really just want to be heard".