Should I be with the man who is good for me and my children or the man I love?

I met the first man five months ago. I have come a long way and do have feelings for him. I know he would do anything for me and my kids. The man I love is their father, and no matter how many times things haven't been great in the past, I can't help but love him. I know they both love me, and I love both of them.

Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

The answer depends entirely on which interest is stronger for you.

If the reliable caretaker man is not someone with whom you'd have fun, lively conversations, understand each other, be sexually compatible, or romantically attracted, and your primary interest is in someone who' steadily manage the kids, household, and finances, then he is the right one for you!

The problem is you may not be happy longterm with someone to whom you feel no romantic compatibility. 

Consider the drawback if you reach the moment of restlessness romantically and are with someone on whom you depend to take care of your kids.

Since you have feelings for him, then wait several months longer to see whether or not you can imagine yourself romantically happy with the steady guy.

If the other guy who is also the bio dad, isn't involved with his own kids, then he seems like a poor choice of someone to be with longterm. 

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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