How do I get over my anxiety of talking to new people?

I'm socially awkward. I've always want to be popular. I've had the opportunity to be popular, but every time I get i,t I'm too scared. All I have to do is talk the popular people. They're really nice to me, but I'm too scared of change. I really want to work up the courage to lose my fear.

Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPC
Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor

Talking to people can be pretty scary.  When we talk to people, sometimes we overanalyze what we say or how we react in fear that we will seem weird or they won't like us, which makes us appear awkward.  So that overthinking piece can ironically work against us.

When you talk to them, really spend time to listen to what they are saying.  Your default may be to think about how you will respond or what's cool to say, but people like it best (usually) when you are genuine and yourself.  If you focus on what you are paying attention to (them), then you will naturally have a response.  If you can overthink about yourself, you can definitely have some thoughts pop up when talking to other people!

Also keep in mind that if the conversations turn out to be less than you'd hoped for, that's OK.  I'm assuming you are in high school, but in any situation with peers, if they don't like you then they aren't worth all your worry and effort.  

Give change a chance--you've endured change in your life before this, so let it happen again.  You are in control here--you get to choose who you talk to and don't talk to.  That can be powerful!

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide.   If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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