I think my daughter is stressing too much

When my daughter is stressed about a silly thing from school, she starts crying and freaking out. She is a bright student, always has a 4.0, but I am afraid she is stressing too much. I’m afraid it’s going to break her. I don't know if I should get her to a doctor or someone because this is not normal.

Lucia Smith
Lucia Smith
Therapy For People With Anxiety

Sometimes it is hard to empathize with our children. Adults have had so much life experience and know how the world works.  I think whatever is bothering her at the moment doesn't seem silly to her.  

What are her goals? Are they realistic.?  It sounds like your daughter might be a perfectionist. Is it necessary for everything to be perfect?  No, we all make mistakes.  Perfectionists tend to sabotage their own success and succeed despite their perfectionism.  Perfectionism makes them stressed and anxious and they have to deal with those feelings every day on top of striving for success  

Perfectionists also often have what is called a fixed mindset. They believe their basic abilities such as intelligence and talents are fixed traits.   They are set in stone.  For them, If they are not naturally good at something there is no hope of improvement.  This mindset leads them to them want to appear perfect and never make mistakes.  Your daughter probably needs some help to change her fixed mindset to a  growth mindset.  People who have growth mindsets believe their abilities can improve over time. thinking this way helps become more motivated and resilient They believe they can find ways to fix mistakes and get better at the challenging things by getting help, studying a different way,  and not giving up. 

A therapist who treats children her age could help her re-frame her approach to challenging tasks and the way she thinks about her gifts and talents.  

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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