Why do I feel like I'm always wrong in everything in my relationship?

My wife is always accusing me of cheating and telling me that I'm doing things she finds disrespectful even when I don't mean it like that. For example, she gets offended when I call someone at work "sweetheart." I wish I had a penny for every time she accused me of cheating on her. She doesn't, and never will say she was wrong. How do I get her to understand?

Gayle Weill
Gayle Weill
Specializing in relationships and parenting - additional certifications in Child-parent psychotherapy, Circle of Security-Parenting program, adoption competency, hypnosis, and EMDR

It sounds like you feel your wife doesn’t trust you and it’s frustrating for you because you aren’t cheating on her and you aren’t trying to be disrespectful towards her. It must be really difficult to constantly be faced with accusations and misunderstandings from your wife. I am so sorry you are going through this but I’m really glad you are trying to seek assistance with this.

I don’t know your wife, in fact I don’t know you either for that matter, but from what little I know from what you wrote it sounds like your wife has some insecurity and maybe even self-esteem issues. People that present as very sensitive and accusatory like your wife are often not acting that way to purposely frustrate their loved ones- they act that way because they are feeling unloved and hurting. Having that perspective in mind about your wife- that she is hurting when she makes those accusations- I am wondering if that changes your perspective about this? Your wife needs your sensitivity towards her feelings, your  love and your reassurance of your commitment to her. Be very loving in your actions and words towards her. Don’t call other women sweetheart. It sounds like your wife is a sensitive person which means she needs her husband to be sensitive to her feelings. These are just some things to think about. 

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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