How would I know if I have the right therapist?
How do you know you have the right therapist for you?
How would I know how to "train" my therapist to be able to give me what I need from treatment?
It is incredibly
important that a person feels that their therapist is right for them! The
importance of this is not only because they will be asked to be
vulnerable and honest during sessions, but also because it can impact treatment
outcomes. Having confidence in your therapist and the therapeutic relationship can
help foster success in therapy!
Generally speaking, it is
a good fit if the therapist has expertise with your particular problem, you connect
the "feel" or “vibe” of the therapist, and you like their treatment
philosophy. In order to find out if it’s a good fit, you may have to directly
ask the therapist about their expertise and treatment philosophy. Many people
are arbitrarily matched to a therapist or believe that they have to see the
first therapist with an available appointment. It is important to remember that
you have a choice in who your provider is!
As far as “training” your
therapist, there are caveats here. Your therapist is responsible for providing
ethical and competent services without you having to train them (such as maintaining
appropriate boundaries, maintaining confidentiality, etc.). Assuming they are
meeting those minimum requirements, the hope is that they are also
demonstrating respect for you (such as starting session on time, providing
consistency, and being non-judgmental). If you do not feel respected or you
have concerns about their judgements, I recommend you bring this to their
attention. While the therapeutic relationship is unique and is not like other
relationships in our lives, it is still a relationship. It may be uncomfortable to tell them how
you feel about their behavior, but there can be immense therapeutic value in these
conversations.
If your therapist is
providing ethical services, competent services, and demonstrating respect for
you, it’s a good start. If you are not getting the results you hope to get from
therapy, it is still not your job to “train” the therapist, but it would be
beneficial to bring this to their attention. Ask them about that goals and
objectives that you are working on and ask for clarity on the direction of
treatment. These conversations can be incredibly beneficial to the therapeutic relationship
and the trajectory of treatment. Alternatively, if you are not feeling good
about the provider, their vibe, the goals, or the direction, it may be time to seek
a consultation with another therapist. “Starting over” in therapy does require
quite a bit of emotional energy but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it!
- Upvote
- 221 views
View 123 other answers
More Answers
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Parenting
- Self-esteem
- Relationship Dissolution
- Workplace Relationships
- Spirituality
- Trauma
- Domestic Violence
- Anger Management
- Sleep Improvement
- Intimacy
- Grief and Loss
- Substance Abuse
- Family Conflict
- Marriage
- Eating Disorders
- Relationships
- LGBTQ
- Behavioral Change
- Addiction
- Legal & Regulatory
- Professional Ethics
- Career Counseling
- Stress
- Human Sexuality
- Social Relationships
- Children & Adolescents
- Alzheimer's
- Military Issues
- Self-harm
- Diagnosis
- Counseling Fundamentals