I feel really uncomfortable around other people

When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared.

I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people.

I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

Kellie Spear, LCMHC, LMFT
Kellie Spear, LCMHC, LMFT
Compassionate online support & encouragement

It can be hard to figure out why certain situations lead you to feel angry, or fearful. We all have certain rules/beliefs about living life that were created over time. When our minds seem to never shut off it can be helpful to spend some time in the present moment you are in. I am guessing that when you're having conversations in your head that you are either re-living past feelings about something that happened, or you are thinking about things that are to come possibly with dread or fear. 

Overall, we are not always good about staying present in the moment, with all the distractions and demands in life it is easy to spend your sleeping hours planning for the next day or thinking about an interaction you had that didn't go the way you hoped it would. 

Practicing mindfulness along with learning how to connect your thoughts to actions would be a great starting point. To do this spend some time making connections between what you think and what you feel. When you are in a public situation and you begin to feel uncomfortable or you notice that you are getting angry, stop for a moment and ask yourself, 'what was I just thinking about?". Perhaps a "should" rule of your own was broken by another person, leaving you feeling hurt or disregarded. 

We are often unable to control the people or things that trigger our anger, but we can control how we react to situations that make us angry. When this is hard to do, separate yourself from the situation if you can, then take time to breathe, slow down your thoughts and visualize yourself in a place that calms you. As you take in the moment give yourself permission to linger in this place long enough to change the thoughts that led to the anger. If you continue to have difficulty shutting off your mind at the end of the day, try one of the many helpful apps that offer mindfulness routines, sleep stories, and other sleep-inducing activities. 


The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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