How do I know what my sexual orientation is?

I'm a girl, and I can't tell whether I'm bisexual or gay. I like girls a little more than boys, but I don't really know.

David Klein
David Klein
Humanistic Psychotherapy for Individuals & Couples

I would ask you, "do you feel like you need to come up with a label?" Is there something about identifying as one or the other that would be helpful for you? From what current science has told us about sexual orientation, it's a spectrum. There are people on the spectrum who are clearly gay, or clearly heterosexual, and then there is everyone in between, which includes being "bisexual" (which I guess in the spectrum would be smack in the middle?)

It may be too early for you to identify as any one thing on that spectrum (as you say, "but I don't really know"), or maybe as you move through life you just won't identify as any one thing, and that's totally okay. The most important thing, in my professional opinion, is to accept yourself, fully, for whatever it is that you are. The second most important thing, in my professional opinion too, is to be honest with yourself and your partners about however you do identify your sexual orientation.

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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