How can I tell if my spouse had sex with a prostitute?

My spouse visited the red light district a couple of years back in Amsterdam. After he got back from the trip he got me tested for stds. In the aftermath he has provided multiple versions of what happened, from having a total blackout to being touched by a prostitute. How do I know if he had sex?

Amanda Watkins
Amanda Watkins
Seeking employment with a non-profit agency

I've been in this situation before and have some insight to share with you.  In my experience, he was lying and trying to cover it up. By pushing you to std testing, he's distracting you so he can shift the guilt he feels and blame it on you. In a guilty man's mind I believe he's thinking-

...if I must have as well....but you're much worse than I because it's okay for me to cheat...but not you're a cheating dirty slut...just like that prostitute 

Men believe they're entitled to treat women and children like property. Often they use intimidation and violence to control us.  

He'll never admit to cheating, he'll never apologize and he'll do it again and again. Truly they don't think it's a big deal, it's just their way of being social. They desperately want us to accept it, perhaps join in the act.

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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