What can I do about my husband's black and white personality disorder?

After receiving counseling, we have been told my husband has a black and white personality disorder. When I offer compromises in our disagreements, he does not seem to understand. We cannot resolve conflict because he only sees things as black or white. My husband has asked that we go to counseling this time. In the past, it has been my suggestion. We are thinking of going to a marriage mediator this time because there are financial issues that need to be resolved. He cannot see the whole picture when I attempt to explain my side to him.

Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

I never heard of a marriage mediator before.

Since you already went to counseling and the therapist observed your husband's tendency to see black and white in life, and because counseling functions on a deeper level than a mediator generally does, a marriage mediator sounds like a step backwards.

Why not go to a financial mediator?

This would satisfy your husband's black white outlook and may satisfy you too because no emotions are expected in financial discussion and the relationship suffers from an expectations surrounding emotion.

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