Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone?
I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here.
I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it.
How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone?
Hi there, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Let me see if I can guide you in the right direction. Often when I talk to my clients about feelings of worthlessness we start with a little bit of self-exploration. We start with noticing. Start to notice when these feelings come up for you. Is there a particular time
of day, a specific person who brings it out, a phrase you hear? Just
start to notice. Usually it's tied to something but it may take a while to figure out what that something/someone is. Try to be patient.
Next we start to explore. When did these feelings start? Where do you think they come from? Is there something - a statement - perhaps that repeats in your head over and over again? If so, whose voice is it? These are difficult questions, and just a few of them, so take your time answering them. (We usually do it over a few sessions.) It might even be helpful to write them down somewhere. If you have a journal that would be a great place as research has shown that our brain works differently when we put pen to paper versus typing on a computer.
Now comes the good news. Our brains are able to rewire themselves. This allows us to change habits we don't want as well as statements we say to ourselves that are no longer serving us.
The next step is to select an ally. Someone who is or has been in your corner, someone who is always rooting for you. If you don't have someone like that, that's ok - a lot of us don't - you can just make someone up. Close your eyes and try to describe that person in great detail from the way they look to the way they act to the way they sound. Now, pick a phrase you would like that person to say to you whenever you start to think that you're worthless. Something that will help you feel better about yourself - a characteristic, a skill, a great joke you tell, a physical attribute. This also takes time and may involve you asking for help from someone who knows you.
Once you have all of that together - the noticing, answers from where these feelings and statement(s) come from, your ally, your new statement, you can try to put it altogether. When the feelings come up, notice what is bringing them up and then call upon your ally to try to change the statement in your head from the self-defeating one to the more positive, uplifting one.
I hope this was helpful. Again, I do this with my clients over quite a few weeks, if not months, and I am there with them the whole time. It is quite an involved process and can bring up a lot of very difficult feeling/memories. If at any point you find it too hard to go at alone, please seek help. If you take anything away from this reply, know that there is help out there and that it is possible to change the way you feel.
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