Can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone?

Hi there - Here are some things for you to consider:

First things first - its much more likely that You feel that you are worthless to everyone - not them thinking that.  Its hard to think or perceive beyond our own mindset.  It is doable but with practice and assistance. Often what we think/believe about ourselves is NOT what others think or perceive.  This is a thinking trap known as mind reading.  I have a blog post on my website about this.  

Second, although what you are describing sounds consistent with depression, know that you - with professional help -- can positively effect how you feel and perceive yourself and your surroundings.  MANY others have felt similarly and have gotten better

Third, be curious about your situation.  Ask yourself, "Am I sick and tired of being sick and tired?"  If so, then ask the next question, "then why have I Not gotten around to doing something about it?"  If not tired of being sick and tired, then ask yourself, "why not? And do I REALLY want to feel this way for life?"  Depressed folks generally do not prioritize themselves to seek - and sustain help.  Hence, why you said you "never got around to it" all the while feeling down and blue and not able to sleep.  Here is another question to ask yourself, "If I were oozing blood or pus from a cut and it would not stop - would I seek help?"  If so, why then, but not now in this situation?  

Fourth, seek a live licensed mental health professional NOW.  I understand you never thought about suicide before, but that was before.  Suicidal thoughts and tendencies can be sudden and automatic.  Depression is one of the main drivers for suicidal ideations and attempts.  

This is a nice first step to gain insight.  Take the next step, to seek help.  

Ohh, I understand it can be a maze in finding help - some ways to do it are:

- If you have health insurance to their site and use a keyword search for depression

- Read some of the information and see which one connects with you a bit more 

- No health insurance, go to Psychology Today or this site to see if someone is in city (or state if online therapy). Search by depression

- Also if having a major issue paying for therapy - go to a church counseling center or non profit to see if they have reduced rates. They can be staffed with interns but they are all supervised by seasoned clinicians - and that help is much better than what you likely have now.  

A motto I have - partially from my grandmother - is Know Better. Do Better. Live Better.  You are in process of knowing.  Continue on.