How do I get over my anxiety of talking to new people?

I'm socially awkward. I've always want to be popular. I've had the opportunity to be popular, but every time I get i,t I'm too scared. All I have to do is talk the popular people. They're really nice to me, but I'm too scared of change. I really want to work up the courage to lose my fear.

Jessica Fealk, MA, LPC
Jessica Fealk, MA, LPC (Michigan)

Give yourself credit here!  It sounds like you are liked and people want to get to know you!  

I would wonder with you, what is the self-talk going on when you get too scared to talk to people?  Those statements are probably connected to some core beliefs (I'm __________, I'll never __________, I'm not __________________, etc.), which probably need to be examined for truth and challenged!  

Often times, practice helps!  You could start by having a conversation with someone you already feel comfortable with, but talk about a topic you've never discussed before.  Next, you could strike up conversation with someone who is new to you, but for a brief time, like a cashier or waitress/waiter.   Keep taking steps towards practicing talking to new people, and build your skills and confidence with each conversation.  Sure, you'll probably feel awkward and uncomfortable and say some silly things, but you'll also probably say some brilliant things, and you're doing it!  Eventually, you'll probably feel more comfortable talking to the people who you'd like to talk to, without so much fear. 

Learning new things are tough!  Once you get some practice and confidence under your belt, you can get more and more comfortable with your abilities to talk to new people.  

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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