Why do I feel like I'm nothing more than a wife and mom?

First I want to thank you for sharing your story, I imagine that it might feel really tough to question things like how much you gave up while feeling unhappy and trapped. Self-loathing is an overwhelming and heavy thing to feel especially in the face of just wanting to appreciate and enjoy your life. 

Feelings however, don't have an agenda - they are just a reaction given the state of things going on for you. Oftentimes they can be based on previous situations or events in life. It is also important to note what narrative comes up for you in the face of certain feelings. For example, what is the story you are telling yourself when you feel the sensation of being unhappy?

One part of being on a mental health journey is also recognizing that there can be a duality to life sometimes. Duality in your case looks like a) loving your family and b) recognizing your loss of self identity due to your roles as a wife and mother. Both of these things can exist and be true at the same time and it is okay that they do!

The good news is that you can explore who you are and what your identity is while still being a wife and a mother. To explore your identity you can start by asking yourself something like: "what lights me up inside to think about?"

Wishing you all the best in your journey.