My husband kept a huge secret from me

He had a sexual relationship with his sister and kept it from me for years, I confronted about it and he finally told me what happened. But I dont think he is telling me the whole story. He works with her and sees her every day.

I feel that I shouldn't stay with him , but he says he ended it long time ago. Should I trust my husband and stay with him?

Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

Trust is a necessary factor for an intimate relationship to feel safe.

The person who must repair the trust is the one who has broken this trust.

The best way to find out if your husband wants to restore your trust in him, is to ask him this question.  He may not be willing to meet your request.

If he hesitates or becomes defensive about the need to restore your trust, then ask him to think his decision through and tell him the serious consequence you are considering.

Ask him to reflect for a few days or a week and then to address the topic again.

If you and he consistently find that he is unwilling to do anything at all to regain your trust, then I agree you have serious thinking to do as to whether or not you'd be able to live within a partnership based upon trust, in which you don't trust your partner.

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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