I'm having a hard time with a breakup

I was with my boyfriend for years on and off. We dated and broke up three times. Since we broke up five months ago I can't move on. I want to get back together but he won't talk to me. What should I do?

Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

Probably being sad to lose the relationship would be a good next move for you.

When a relationship ends the daily life structure changes significantly.  A break up means adjusting to differences in everyday life, not only that the person is no longer connected with us.

Since your boyfriend isn't talking to you then you're keeping yourself sadder than necessary to not accept his actions.  There's nothing you or anyone else can do change the fact that when someone decides to stop talking, this person is the only one who's in charge to start talking.

Maybe since you've had several breakups w this person that you require more time to pass before you're willing to accept that his changed interest in the relationship is permanent.

Be patient with your uncertainty as to whether he will or will not resume the relationship.  Once enough time passes so that you're considerably past the point at which you and he come together, then accepting his leave-taking will feel natural.

Right now its very understandable to have hope since you've been on this road before.  In time you'll have your answer as to whether your future is with him or not.

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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