How do I start taking initiative in my relationship?

I don't speak up if I'm uncomfortable and hardly ever make plans for us when we hang out. He is a very open and straightforward person, so he is getting upset with me for my lack of proper communication. We've been together two years and have identified this as our main problem. Arguments have arised from this single issue many times.

Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

Do you know what you're afraid may happen if you do speak up?

Usually people don't talk freely because they feel afraid to do so.  Sometimes the fear of being rejected by the other, of being criticized or judged by the other person, or that what you will say stirs anger in the other person.

If you are able to know what your particular reason is for not talking, then maybe you and your partner can talk about what makes talking easy or hard.

Also, since speaking up is new for you, then ask your partner to be patient while you learn to do so.  Everyone does better at learning new skills when they feel supported and welcomed.

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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