How do I kick my stepdaughter out of our house because she isn't honoring boundaries set for her?

She's in her early 20s, and she has a toddler.

Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

Well, first let's identify what factors are involved in the situation about which you wrote.

Are you the only decision maker regarding your stepdaughter living with you?

Is her dad, and your partner, living under the same roof?

Would you feel any obligation to consult with your husband about his opinion and his way of handling the situation?

Have you talked with your stepdaughter about your observation and your reaction to the fact of her not honoring your boundaries?

Consider too that there will be an effect on the toddler, your grandchild, if you kick out your daughter.

Is your daughter financially ready to live on her own and support herself and her child?

You certainly have the right to define the terms of what goes on under your roof.

It is only fair to everyone that as many variables as possible, be considered.

The conclusion may be that it is in everyone's best interest for your stepdaughter to move out.

If everyone feels respected and a well thought out plan is developed, then the least amount of hurt and stress, and the most amount of happiness, will be possible from this change.

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Valerie  Saisi, NCC, LPC
Valerie Saisi, NCC, LPC
Parenting, Child, and Family Therapist

This is something you will have to discuss with your husband.  It should be a joint decision if you value your marriage.  You can mention your frustration about your stepdaughter not honoring boundaries.  After you talk to your husband you both can have a talk with your stepdaughter about expectations in order to stay living in the house.  When it comes to stepchildren you need to be very careful you do not take the lead on the authority part.  It should be the biological parent.  

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Lauren Ostrowski, MA, LPC, NCC, DCC, CCTP
Lauren Ostrowski, MA, LPC, NCC, DCC, CCTP
I tailor my therapeutic approach to each client's strengths and goals

It may be helpful to first have a discussion about what you are expecting and put a timeframe on it that if she is not doing certain things by a certain date, she will have to leave. If you don't know where she can go, there is probably a list of shelters for the county that you live in.

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 800-273-8255, call 911, or proceed to your local emergency room.

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