How can I learn to be content and at peace?

I recently broke up with my boyfriend After being together for over 4 years. I truly believe I did the right thing, but omehow being single now has made me very needy and unsure of myself.

I am seeing someone casually and I am losing my mind with anxiety about how he feels about me and this need for validation.

How can I learn to be content and at peace with myself regardless of my career, relationship status, etc?

A break up, even one that you initiated, may deserve some time and space to allow it to be complete.

There's a few ideas I'll throw out there and you can choose if they stick.  One is to re-invest in the friendships you have by setting up regular coffee get-togethers for example.  Two, get out in nature.  It's hard to ignore how grand and patient nature is, and it sometimes takes the pressure off what we should be and instead allows us to be.  And the last one I'll throw out there is to invest your time and energy in a project or achievement you've wanted to do for a while, but that perhaps you didn't have the time to.  Something related to a hobby such as sports or music, or related to your career.  Something that is 'for' you.  

Life knocks us off balance at times, and that's ok.  Self-questioning during these times can be a healthy endeavor.  Should you follow any of the advice on this website, continue to be kind to yourself about what you're feeling, and curious about why you're feeling that way.  

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide.   If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

Possibly you haven't completed your phase of mourning the recently passed relationship and lifestyle which surrounded it.

Relationship breakups mean a person's entire life goes through an adjustment since the relationship impacted all areas of your life.

Give yourself some patience to restore yourself from the old relationship. 

When you feel whole again then more than likely you will lose some of the anxiety wondering what your new casual partner feels about you.

And instead of wondering,  you may simply decide to ask the person your question!

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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